


'cause heaven knows that nothing good comes free.

by reedus



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Au of sorts, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Manchester, Post-Wedding, Trapped In Elevator, pre-wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-05 23:43:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4199598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reedus/pseuds/reedus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A thousand thoughts ran through Robert's head as he calmly composed himself and entered the church. The thoughts were racing each other to be the centre of his attention, only to be pushed aside by a different notion, but one thing they all had in common was that they revolved entirely around Aaron.</p><p>Or: Aaron moves away the night before Robert's wedding to Chrissie. Months later Aaron and Robert meet again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'cause heaven knows that nothing good comes free.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song Release by Imagine Dragons.

At 6pm that evening, Aaron and Robert had met on the outskirts of the village, in the forest area. Robert had been late, as usual that snobby bastard thinking the world revolves around him, and then had tried to kiss Aaron to make up for it. Aaron was having none of it, all too aware that the wedding was tomorrow. It was mostly dark out as they stood in the woods together, Aaron with his arms crossed on his chest, creating a barrier between them. The tension between them was unbearable. 

 "What do you want Robert?" Aaron asked quietly, not making eye contact with him. 

 "You probably already know the answer to that," Robert chuckled nervously. "We can still keep this going y'know, keep us going after tomorrow." Aaron shrivelled up his nose in disgust. "What? What's wrong with that?" Robert asked, genuinely oblivious to how fucked up that was. 

 "Are you blind?" Aaron spoke softly. "Can't you see how this is hurting me? How if we keep this going it will hurt Chrissie? It's hurting you too, it's tearing you up inside, you just refuse to see it's there 'cause you wanna make it look like you're the one with all the power, with all the perks in this pile of shit."  

 "It's not hurting me Aaron," Robert reached out his hand to touch Aaron's face. Aaron didn't pull away this time. "It's making me feel alive,  _you_  make me feel alive. I love Chrissie though, and I'm going to marry her tomorrow, but I want us to continue." 

Aaron snorted, " _Us_? What the fuck is  _us_?! I'm just a warm mouth for you, you don't care about me Robert. You don't care about anyone but yourself, and you try to prove yourself wrong by being generous and all that shite, but fuck's sake, I know you Robert," Aaron leaned in, closing the space between them. "You act like yer unbreakable, but the reality is yer fragile." Aaron grabbed the back of Robert's neck and pushed their mouths together. At first Robert reacted by sloppily kissing Aaron, all tongue and teeth, but then he pushed away from him. 

Aaron choked out a slow sad laugh. Tears were forming in his eyes. "I may be _weak_  because of my self harm, but at least I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not." He ran his hand down his face. "Have a nice wedding, it was fun while it lasted." With that, Aaron walked away from Robert. 

*****

When Aaron returned to the Woolpack, he could hear the regulars chatting with Chas and Diane in the bar. He dropped his keys on the table and sneaked to the storage room to nick a bottle of vodka.  _Why live above a pub if you can't sample the product_ , Aaron thought sarcastically as he twisted the cap off and took a large swig from the bottle. The vodka burned his throat as it traveled down, but after another three swings of the bottle, the burning sensation was replaced with a numb ache at the back of his throat. Aaron quietly made his way up the creaking stairs to his untidy bedroom, where he drank away everything: all the thoughts of Robert and the pain that accompanied them.

It was around 2:30am when Aaron woke from his booze induced sleep. A throbbing headache was already forming at his right temple. The vodka bottle was empty and lay on the ground beside Aaron's bed. Aaron groaned. His thoughts were clear for all of two minutes, then everything crashed down on him: the wedding was in less than twelve hours, he drunk a full bottle of Smirnoff vodka alone, and Robert didn't care about how he felt. Aaron always knew that Robert didn't completely care for him, but being head over heels for him, Aaron gave Robert some credit.  _Tomorrow is gonna be painful_ , Aaron sighed, dropping back down on his bed. He ran his hands down his face, knocking all sleep from him.

"I don't wanna be here tomorrow, to see him smiling and beautiful with Chrissie at his arm instead of me." Aaron whispered into the darkness. "He- yeah!" Aaron sat up so quickly that his head screamed at him and the room spun. Holding his head, Aaron walked to his wardrobe, throwing open the doors and rooting through for his gear bag. "That's exactly it- I don't gotta be here. I can leave. I'm gonna leave; leave 'im like he's leaving me."

*****

At 1:45pm, Chas shouted up the stairs for Aaron to "hurry your ass down these stairs, the wedding starts in fifteen bloody minutes!" She had a glass of red wine in her hand and was happily laughing with Victoria and Diane, who were both bursting with joy for Robert and Chrissie.

"Chas, it's ten to, is Aaron ready yet?" Vic asked as she opened the back door to the pub. Chas swore under her breath and ran, well walked as fast as one could in heels, up the stairs. She pounded on his bedroom door, and to her surprise, it opened by itself.

"Aaron Livesy, if you are not dressed and ready, you're gonna have to sit alone in the b-" She stopped when she realised that Aaron wasn't in the room. Chas swallowed and left her glass of wine down on the bedside table. Glancing around the room she noticed that there was less of his clothes and possessions scattered around his room.

"Aaron?" Chas called out, hoping to get a response from her son. That's when she noticed the note on his pillow. It was addressed to her. Chas's heart stopped as worse case scenarios raced through her head as she cautiously picked up the folded paper.

"Mum," it read in Aaron's untidy handwriting. "I'm sorry, but I can't stay here any longer. The village, I don't know, it's like it's smothering me slowly or something. I can't breathe anymore. It's making me numb and I can't stand it. I've called a mate of mine who lives in Manchester, or maybe it was London, I don't know, but anyway, he lives were there's life and people and opportunities, not in a deadbeat village, no offence or nothing. I'll ring ya when I settle in. Have a good day at the wedding, tell Robert that I hope he's happy, he was a good friend. Aaron x."

Chas didn't realise she wasn't breathing until she was gasping for breath and Diane was rubbing her back, telling her to take deep breaths.

"What is it love?" Diane was becoming fanatic.

"Aaron- Aaron has left." Chas choked out. "Jesus Diane, when I saw the note I thought he had done it- I thought he had offed himself."

"But he's okay?" Diane's voice was strained with worry.

"Yeah, yeah. He's gone to Manchester or London with a mate." Chas ran her fingers down the page. "I hope he's okay." She sucked in a deep breath and stood up. "We're gonna be late for the wedding! I'll ring Aaron after it to see what the story is."

*****

After Aaron had left the woods that evening, Robert felt this aching feeling in his chest. As he drove to Andy's to stay the night, the feeling was growing and it made him feel so physically sick that he had to pull over at one point because he thought he was going to throw up. Robert stood on the side of the road, his hands on his knees breathing in large gulps of country air. Annoyed, he told himself to snap of it and stop acting so ridiculously. It didn't work.

For the entire night Robert lay awake in the spare bedroom at Andy's and Katie's. He'd toss and turn, throwing the blankets off him because he was too warm but then immediately regretting it as icy fingers gripped his skin. Nothing was right and there was a churning feeling in his stomach, aching the muscles and pushing bile up his throat, burning his insides.

At 2:45am, Robert heard a car's engine roar to life, the noise startling against the dead silence of night. He became at ease knowing he wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep, but soon his aching body slipped into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Robert stood outside the church, needing the air before becoming a married man. Nearly all of the guests were inside, chatting excitedly about the nearing hour of marriage. Robert looked up when he heard three pairs of footsteps walking his way. Vic, Diane and Chas were dressed beautifully for the day, and Robert offered a kind smile to the ladies. But the smile faded when he noticed Aaron wasn't trailing behind the ladies and their elegance.

"Alright Robert?" Chas asked stopping beside the young blond.

"Course Chas," Robert halfheartedly smiled. "No Aaron?"

Chas's eyes saddened a little, "No, afraid not. He's gone to stay with a mate in the city for a while. He got fed up of the place." She began to walk into the church before pausing to turn to Robert. "Aaron wrote a note to me, and told me to tell you that he hopes you're happy." With that Chas went into the church to take her seat among her friends.

Robert quickly glanced around, checking to see if anyone was there, before basically collapsing against the cold stone wall of the church.  _Aaron is gone_ , was all that ran through Robert's mind as his breathing quickened and his heart hammered against his chest. Robert's vision went blurry and he propped his back against the wall in disbelief, refusing to let a panic attack crept up on him. Slowly, he regained control of his breathing, his heart beginning to slow down back to the norm.  

A thousand thoughts ran through Robert's head as he calmly composed himself and entered the church. The thoughts were racing each other to be the centre of his attention, only to be pushed aside by a different notion, but one thing they all had in common was that they revolved entirely around Aaron. 

******

Since Robert swaggered into his life, Aaron has felt uncertain and uneasy at the idea of getting caught, but now, away from the village and  _him_ , Aaron's head was beginning to clear. 

After finishing his usual run of the day through the park near the apartment complex he was staying in, Aaron arrived on time to the hotel he was currently working in. Working in a hotel wasn't really Aaron, but it offered a decent wage, good hours and wasn't fair from the apartment. Some nights he worked behind the hotel bar, most he worked served tables and occasionally he was asked to deliver room service. Tonight was one of those occasional nights. 

Just as he was returning from serving a table of four, the woman who worked at the reception desk, Irene, called Aaron over and asked him to deliver champagne in a bucket of ice, two glasses and strawberries dipped in chocolate to a room on the fifth floor. Aaron rolled his eyes at the disgustingly over the top and unoriginal celebration method but complied and loaded the cart with the couple's request. 

It was a rather busy night, and the lobby was surprisingly full as Aaron pushed the little cart out from the side kitchen door and over to the shimmering elevator doors. He pushed the up button and tapped his foot absentmindedly as he waited for the elevator to arrive. After a minute, the speaker beeped and the elevator doors opened, revealing a small family with a lot of luggage. Aaron stepped out of the way to let them get out of the elevator, politely smiling at each of them as they dragged their suitcases behind them. Once he pushed the cart into the elevator, a couple joined him, pushing the button for the second floor. Aaron pushed the cold button for the fifth floor. 

It only took a dozen seconds before the doors opened for the couple to step out to the second floor. As no-one was standing at the door, Aaron pressed the button to close the doors. They were almost closed when a hand grabbed one of them, causing them to move open again. Aaron opened his mouth to apologise, only to stand there with his mouth hanging open. His eyes had traveled up to the hand's owner and at first Aaron thought he was dreaming, or hallucinating, when he saw Robert's face. However, Robert looked just as shocked as Aaron, so maybe he wasn't hallucinating. 

With uncertainty, Robert stepped into the elevator, staring at Aaron, not bothering to push a button. Both men just looked at each other, their eyes burning holes into each other's face. Neither said a word. 

"Aaron...” Robert whispered his voice more tender than Aaron remembered, now with less confidence in it. "Wh-What are you doing here?" 

Aaron shrugged his shoulders, immediately putting up his barriers, and turned his gaze away from Robert. "I work here Rob," he paused realising he used the shortened version of his name, a version that's more colloquial and friendly. "Robert." Wringing his hands together, Aaron turned to look at Robert again, "What are you doing here?" 

Robert sucked in a breath to answer, but before he could the elevator skidded and squealed in agony, coming to a stop. Both men's eyes immediately darted around the elevator, to the ceiling, to the doors, to the buttons which flashed for a moment before their lights died completely. 

"Fuck no," Aaron breathed as he pushed the buttons, hoping to get one to work, but nothing happened. "Come on, come on, don't do this to me!" Aaron punched his fist against the cold metal interior of the elevator, producing a ringing sound, and ran his hand down his face, scratching at the stubble that covered his cheek and jaw. Slowly he turned and faced Robert. 

"Well, incredible Hulk, did you smash the buttons hard enough to get this metal box working again?" Robert leaned back against the wall of the elevator, his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. 

"Shut up, at least I actually tried somethin'," Aaron scoffed. "Do you have yer phone on you?" He glanced at Robert, letting his eyes linger on the blonde man, long enough for Robert to smirk in satisfaction. 

“You liking what you’re staring at, eh?” Robert chuckled as Aaron tore his gaze away from Robert.

“Just give me yer phone Robert, or you do wanna be stuck in here for longer than necessary?!” Robert held up his hands defensibly before digging around his pocket for his phone. Aaron held out his right hand and Robert gently placed the phone in Aaron’s hand, letting his fingers trace over Aaron’s warm skin.

With his heart hammering in his rib cage, a lump forming in his throat, all because of- of _him_ , Aaron dialed the hotel’s front desk, trying to push thoughts of Robert away, which was impossible with him standing two feet away, leaning his perfect body against the wall, his hair shining like a halo due to the fluorescent lighting in the elevator, his eyes shining. The phone call rang out, and Aaron hung up, handing the phone back to Robert. Then the lights in the elevator went out. 

"What the fu-" Robert shouted gripping the railing that went around the walls of the elevator as red lights lit up the metal box. Aaron sighed deeply, knowing what was wrong.

"The electricity is gone," Robert spun and stared at Aaron as he spoke. "Probably in the entire hotel. There's been stormy weather for days now; the power was bond to go at least once." Aaron shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. "We're just gonna hav'ta wait until they get it fixed." 

"How long will that be?" Robert asked, worry straining his voice. 

"Do I look like a fucking electrician?" Aaron spat back at Robert, with more force than he wanted, as we moved to the opposite side of the elevator. "Sorry, it's just, this isn't great for either of us," Aaron glanced at Robert who looked almost angelic in the red lightning, yet it was strikingly fitting as he had done, and most likely continued doing, morally bad deeds for his own advantage. 

It was quite for a few moments before Robert spoke up quietly, as if he had none of his self-confidence as he did so, "I missed you, y'know Aaron. Hasn't been the same without you... I asked Chas for where you were staying, but she didn't give it to me... She knows I'm bad news."

"Why would you do that? Risk blowing yer cover for my whereabouts?" Aaron asked, disbelief unintentionally pouring through his words.

"'Risk blowing my cover'? What do you mean? Chas didn't tell you?" 

"Tell me what?" At this Aaron stood up more, now interested in what Robert had to say.

A chuckle escaped Robert's mouth, soft and short. "I can't believe you don't know! Aaron, when you left, it hit me... hard. I walked into the church that day, and waited on Chrissie to arrive, and when she did, she looked so beautiful, holy fuck she literally looked the happiest I've ever seen her. All white and glowing and shit. But, as she walked down the aisle, I realised something.. I didn't want it to be Chrissie walking down the aisle, smiling at me, looking so unbelievably happy. And the more I thought about it as the service carried on, the less I wanted to be there." Robert closed the space between him and Aaron, making Aaron hitch his breath. "I told her there and then, when the time for the vows came around. I told Chrissie that I can't marry her. She slapped me and started crying and everyone was shocked and she started screaming why wouldn't I marry her." Robert rubbed his hand along Aaron's upper arm, feeling how tense the muscle was under his skin and the fabric of his uniform. "I told her there was someone else, and even though I basically fucked up that relationship too, at least I spared Chrissie of a marriage of lies. Like, fuck Aaron, you really fucked me up. Not that I wasn't already messed up," Robert laughed bitterly, watching every expression Aaron made. 

"So, did you tell her it was me?" Aaron asked quietly, dropping his gaze from Robert's face to stare at the blond man's hands on his arms. 

"Yeah, everyone knows. We had a fight in the Woolpack and she demanded to know who the 'other woman' was. She nearly fainted when I said Aaron Livesy. If Chas had a gun I swear I would've been shot on the spot." To this, Aaron laughed a little, making Robert smile widely. "You always look sad Aaron, but fuck the world lights up around you when you smile or laugh. I don't know how I could've been so blind to how fucking amazing you are." 

"Shut up," Aaron rolled his eyes but smiling at the same time. Robert's hand slips down to Aaron's hip, where he traces circles into the skin under the shirt. And then they're kissing, quick and sloppy and more passionate than all of the other times they've kissed put together. Robert pushes Aaron right up against the elevator wall, gripping him there with both hands on Aaron's hips as Aaron grips tightly to Robert's neck, wanting more of him, wanting all of him as close as possible. The food cart is pushed to the opposite side of the elevator so they can have as much space as possible in the metal box for them to re-explore each other. 

Robert breaks their kiss to bite and suck on Aaron's neck, pausing to breezily whisper into his ear; "You're fucking _mine_ , Aaron Livesy, _mine_." And Aaron nods silently knowing that Robert won't live him now and that he is Robert's. Always.


End file.
